How to Live a Meaningful Life Without Knowing Your Purpose
What if you let go of the pressure to find your purpose?
If you've spent years feeling like you should have a passion, a calling, a clear direction — and the not-knowing has felt like something's wrong with you — this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale.
I'm sharing four truths about meaning that shifted everything for me, including why a meaningful life doesn't require a purpose statement. You'll walk away with a new way to think about meaning — one that starts right where you are.
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Listen to the Episode on A Little More You Podcast
Now I'd love to hear from you. What's your relationship with purpose been like? Have you felt that quiet pressure to find "your thing" — or have you been carrying shame about not having one? I'd really love to know.
Share as much detail as you'd like in the comments. So many incredible women come to this space looking for connection and insight, and your story might be the thing that helps someone else finally exhale. Please share your thoughts directly in the comments — links to other posts or videos will be removed.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being here and for adding your voice to this community. You make it one of the most honest and supportive spaces on the internet.
With endless love and appreciation, Kendra 💜
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[00:00:00] Welcome to a little more you. This is a space for the women who are just done being who they're supposed to be and ready to step into their most authentic self. It's an opportunity to just remember who you are beneath all of the noise that the world has created around us, and build a life little by little that is more in alignment with your truth.
Today's topic is we're gonna talk about purpose. Someone a asked me the other day if I believed that we all have purpose in life, and because it's me, it's a complex answer. it's complex for me because on the one hand, I feel very energized and connected to the work that I'm doing right now. It feels meaningful and to a certain extent purposeful. But on the other hand, I've also spent most of my life [00:01:00] feeling like I didn't have a purpose or didn't know what my passion was. I had maybe things that interested me, but I never felt like.
I was motivated to get outta bed intrinsically. To go do this thing I really wanted to create in the world. I didn't have that for the majority of my life. So today I just wanna open up a dialogue about this idea of purpose and I'll share how I answered the question. And I would love to know from you what your thoughts are on purpose and the comments as we go through this.
So if something resonates with you, let me know. I wanna open up a conversation about what purpose means to you. So here's what I'm rejecting.
It's not the idea of purpose in and of itself, but I'm absolutely rejecting the idea of the pressure that our society puts on us around this concept of having or finding a purpose and having [00:02:00] that be what creates meaning in your life. The modern definition in the context of a human purpose is defined as the aim or the goal of a person, or it's defined as the feeling of being determined to do or achieve something.
So what I am actually rejecting here, I'm rejecting this pressure, that definition puts on it. To feel like you have to perform, define, chase it, prove it, accomplish it. So whenever someone mentions this idea of purpose to me for generally my, the majority of my life, and still to this day, I prickle a little bit.
I never really engaged in conversations about purpose because honestly, there was something about that idea that just didn't sit well with me. I think I'm, I'm starting to [00:03:00] learn now that I think it was because I felt shame because I wasn't. Aligned with a purpose. I didn't have a purpose. yes, I wanted to have a family and have children.
And yes, there was absolutely some learned beliefs about my purpose from my childhood and the religion I was grown up in that my purpose was to, have a husband, have a family, have children mostly, and that just set my direction for life. But the work part, the what I did every day for a living, I did what I felt interested in, but I never felt like I had a passion and I was always jealous of other people who had a passion and loved getting up in the morning to go do the work that they want to do.
So I'm rejecting the belief. That a meaningful life requires that we find something, [00:04:00] arrive at some destination or achieve some goal or even a place of status. I'm rejecting the idea that in order to live a meaningful life, we have to know what our purpose is and what we're supposed to do, and we're supposed to go live into it and accomplish it.
It's so much pressure. So instead, here's what I am trying to lean into and asking myself this question and, working with my clients around this question too. Instead of asking this question, what's my purpose and how do I lean into it or accomplish it? I'm flipping that question and I'm saying, how am I relating to myself?
And the people and the world around me in this moment, and how is purpose showing up in those moments? So I'm embracing this idea of living meaningful lives within the [00:05:00] moment. Embracing and attuning to what feels good in the moment. which is a huge shift for me because it just takes off so much pressure from having to feel like I have to go search for and clamor through and, strive to find my purpose.
that's just, it's exhausting to think about. The idea that you're not living a fulfilling or meaningful life until you find your purpose, and that once you find your purpose, you're supposed to go achieve it and chase it and be determined and go get it. that just feels exhausting. It feels like an exhausting way to live for me.
What I'm embracing instead is this idea of four truths about meaning.
That I wanna share with you, and the first one is that meaning is felt not figured out. So there's absolutely value in, Setting goals and taking small steps to get there, and the intellectual pursuit of [00:06:00] learning something more and growing and developing, but meaning really is an embodied experience.
Heck, right now, just creating this podcast, it feels meaningful for me to share and it feels that way in my whole body. My full body experience feels like this is something that I'm creating that has meaning and purpose in the world. It feels fulfilling to me to share with you all in this format.
So meaning is something that is embodied, it's something that you feel, it's not something that you have to go figure out.
The second truth is that presence reveals what's meaningful. So let me explain what I mean by that. We live in a world that is very, very future focused. Very create me a plan, create me a goal, create me a destination that I'm trying to get to, and I'll go achieve that thing. But what that does is it pulls us out of our experience of being in the [00:07:00] present moment.
And so my entire life, I worked in corporate America and it's been ingrained in me too. Prepare for things to consider, all the angles, to anticipate everybody else's needs. And all that did for me was create an environment where I felt like I never measured up in the moment because I either wasn't prepared enough or didn't know enough or wasn't an expert enough.
It just always put me in a position where I felt like I wasn't, meeting the moment. As my full self. So today I am learning to come as I am and know that I have everything within me that I need to meet that present moment, whatever that present moment involves. So preparing is certainly fine. Thinking about your goals, thinking about your future is certainly fine, but I think what happens is we tend to over index on it and we focus on it so much that we lose sight of or we lose our ability to stay.
Present in the moment, [00:08:00] we lose the ability to actually live our lives because we are out there trying to chase something and always future focus, or at least this was my experience. That's how I feel or have felt for most of my life. I.
So when you have an opportunity to actually drop into that presence, what you'll notice is when you are present, the meaning arises. It doesn't necessarily, you don't have to create it, it just happens when you are present in the moment. With other people or on your own. Really, honestly.
Truth number three about meaningful, is how you show up matters more than what you accomplish.
There's a great quote that I hold close to my heart and I really like it. it was stated by Abby Wambach, and basically she's saying that our legacy, our mark on this world [00:09:00] is really only how others felt when they interacted with us. That's it. we live in a world that has told us over and over and over that achieving things, getting places, climbing the mountains.
Chasing the goals that's gonna create meaning for you.
And yet many of us spend most of our lives doing all of that and never feeling that we're living a meaningful life.
What Abby's trying to say here is that , meaning in our lives comes not from what we create or what we do or what we accomplish, but it really comes from the impact we have on others. So I'm gonna read you a quote from Steve Jobs, and this was something that he said or wrote before he passed away.
And I'm reading specifically Steve Jobs because a lot of people know who he is and he is in our American [00:10:00] society, an individual that is looked at as successful. And so here are his thoughts as he's leaving this world and he's ill and he knows he's going to pass away at some point.
I reach the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others' eyes, my life is an epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy in the end. Wealth is only a fact of life that I'm accustomed to at this moment, lying in bed sick. Recalling my whole life, I realized that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
Whichever stage of life you are in right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down. Treasure, love for your [00:11:00] family, love for your spouse, love for your friends. Treat yourself well. As we grow older and hence a little wiser, you may start to realize that your inner happiness does not come from material things of this world.
Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down, you go down with it. Therefore, I hope you realize when you have mates, buddies, old friends, brothers, sisters, who you can chat with and laugh with and talk with and sing songs with, or talk about North, south, east, west, or heaven and earth, that is true happiness.
So this is a man who achieved quite a bit of success and he is trying to remind us on his deathbed, we're close to it. That meaning in life is about the people who we interact with, not what we accomplish or do.
And so let's talk about the last, the [00:12:00] fourth truth about meaning. . It's service emerges naturally from inner wisdom. So you don't find your purpose or force your contribution to the world. It comes naturally when you start to align with your authentic self service and love just starts to expand from you.
It's the way nature works.
So what does it look like in practice when we maybe find meaningful living in real time? What does that look like and feel like? For many reasons, and I won't go into all of them, but just to give you a glimpse as I, in the past decade of my life, have experienced a lot of loss.
my daughter was still born. My dad passed away a few weeks later from a heart attack. My husband's dad passed away. My stepdaughter's mom passed away. My sister-in-law had breast cancer. We went through COVID, it's just been one thing after another. So for many reasons I found myself [00:13:00] approaching midlife and knowing that I wanted to let go of working in the corporate environment and.
One of the reasons that I wanted that was because that environment, the corporate environment, didn't feel like I could show up as my authentic self. I spent the majority of my life in spaces that made it hard for me to live into the present moment. And I was constantly, I felt like I was constantly being pulled outta the present to either plan for the future or to recap what happened in the past.
That's that was That was what I did for a living. let's plan for the future. Let's strategize, let's create, operating models and visions for the future, and then let's facilitate some workshops and review how it went. the story of my life. So today I've transitioned to this coaching and facilitating women's groups, which allows me [00:14:00] to bring my full set of.
Education, knowledge, skills into that environment. But for the first time in my life, I feel like I can be truly present in the room from a place where I can witness magic in my opinion, unfolding. When you are able to step into, when I am able to step into my true self and hold these spaces, I have witnessed magic happen.
When someone else can be fully present in their grief or their fear of grief, because I know what that feels like and I step into those rooms with not just my skills and my knowledge and my ability from my career, my corporate career, but I also step into that room as a human being who has been through a lot.
And who knows that it sometimes can feel hard to be human. So I try really hard now [00:15:00] to, no longer anticipate the needs of others because I know now that I can show up naturally as my full, authentic self and help them feel seen and heard in the moment.
And yes, I absolutely do plan and create, but the difference now between my past and my current is that I don't over index on it or I'm trying, I'm learning how to not over index on it and allow the room and the space and the conversation, whether it's a one-on-one coaching session or a room full of people allow.
Myself and the people in the room to create whatever needs to arise in that moment, and that creates meaning in my life.
So back to my original question, do I believe that we all have a purpose? Well, yes. I feel deeply aligned to the work that I'm doing right now, and yes, I feel like there's value in finding that alignment, for all humans to [00:16:00] find something that they really, to find what lights them up, to find what motivates them intrinsically.
But no, you don't have to define your purpose to live a meaningful life because meaning shows up when you can be present in the moment with other human beings or on your own by yourself, sitting in a forest, sitting at home. Being present is where meaning arises. So here's my question for you.
What if you released the pressure to find your purpose? What might happen if you did? Just consider this idea, if you let go of the idea that we all need to find or have or accomplish or create this big, identity of purpose. What would happen if you let that all go? That concept, that belief, I.
Because meaning isn't out there to be [00:17:00] found. It's here. It's in how we relate to ourselves and others, and frankly, the world, the earth, the trees, the birds. We are relational beings and in that relation comes meaning. Thank you so much for being here. If this resonates, I would love for you to subscribe to my channel so that you don't miss future podcast episodes.
If you're someone who, maybe who is my former self and you haven't felt connected to a passion, or you don't know what brings you joy or lights you up, and maybe you haven't experienced that ever in your life, or maybe you, just have. Been distracted by life and you want a little guidance, a little support.
grab my Guide to awaken your inner joy. The link is in the comments below. Thanks for being here.
[00:18:00] As always, when we wrap up this podcast, notice what resonated with you, what felt true for you, if anything, and let that guide you gently forward until next time, may your days be guided by your inner wisdom and filled with a little more you.
Hi there, I’m Kendra.
I’m a woman forever changed by loss and by the quiet clarity that followed. I walked away from the life I was “supposed” to want and began creating one that felt like home.
Now I work with women who are ready to reclaim their identity, their relational sovereignty, and their soulful leadership. The ones who are done shrinking and ready to start living in their truth.